Back in the World

‘Tis Monday again, my lovely readers, and it’s time for my latest Question of the Day post!

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What is the best way to deal with a tough break up?

Not going to lie, I definitely thought about waiting a day and not answering this question for a few reasons.

  1. I’ve only ever had one bad break up, so I don’t know how accurate or helpful my answer would be.
  2. Sometimes I feel like I’m not over it, and that kind of sucks.
  3. Talking about it right now probably won’t help me.
  4. I’m not sure I’ve really dealt with it yet.

Even though I have my reservations about this, I suppose maybe I could be of some assistance, as this is a learning process.

So first off, I’d say it is a good idea to cry it out. It doesn’t matter if cheating was involved or lost feelings or who broke up with who; crying helps. I know that sometimes all I need is a good cry. It lets out emotions you didn’t know you were feeling, and it’s pretty freeing. Crying lifts a weight off of your shoulders.

After you cry, take a nice nap. Your eyes might be puffy, and crying wears you out. Sleeping will help you recover from the tears and the feelings. Also, who doesn’t love naps?

Then, make girl time. Hanging out with girls and pigging out on ice cream is very cliche, but it totally makes you feel better. Preferably hang with single girls because then you can bash boys together–a girl who is in a relationship may not want to participate in said “boy bashing.” Ice cream–or just junk food in general–is a number one priority of this time. I know what I have said before, but eating comfort food really is…well, comforting. Seriously, Ben & Jerry’s (specifically Half Baked) are the only men you need.

After that, mute, unfollow, block him (or her) on social networks. It’s not to show bitterness necessarily (it all really depends on what kind of break up it is) but more because seeing any of his posts will upset you. I most definitely hate seeing my ex’s posts because it makes me think of him when I shouldn’t be. Out of sight, out of mind.

Next time you go out, look hot. PSA: I did NOT say slutty. You don’t want to seem easy–unless you’re into that, I guess. But go out and put on cute clothes. Post a picture. Do your best to be happy with the people you’re with. From experience, hanging out with my Old Enough Trio and my Dream Team Trio was exactly what I needed. Having that girl time (while looking super cute) made me feel much better. Being with my friends doing fun things like going to the beach or shopping helped me so much. My mind was off of him and onto better things, like the amazing friends I had besides him.

This next one isn’t for everyone, but I guy-watched. The beach was a perfect place to scope out cute, shirtless guys. There was no way I would pursue any of them, but looking at them was fun. It’s not for everyone because of the pace you are moving on at. If just seeing a guy makes you think of him, then avoid boys at all costs. However, if you are looking for a rebound, be safe about it, please! Don’t do anything that will hurt you or that you will regret.

Meeting new people is also a good way to help you forget. I went to the first part of my orientation a few days after my break up and I met a super cute guy in my group. I was 100% not over my ex, but making this new friend made me feel better. Having a cute guy actually want to talk to me gave me a self-esteem boost. And now that guy is one of my best friends and my roommies are totally jealous of how cute he is! After we kissed a week ago, I’m just glad things went back to how they were: kind of flirty and fun. He makes me feel important–and I like that he wants to hang out with me when I’m so awkward and there are much prettier girls he could be with, girls who party like he does. But no, he likes hanging out with me and doesn’t pressure me to drink or anything, which is totally cool. This kind of friendship is what I needed after my relationship.

And being in college and making this huge transition has definitely helped get my mind off of him. I love how much I don’t think about him. I actually don’t like that I am right now, but it doesn’t hurt like it did. I have moved forward to better things. Last night, I had a great girls’-night-in with my roommates, and I loved it. I love the friends I’ve made and my schedule keeps me too busy to even think about the past. I’m so grateful for Cal Poly 🙂

Of course, there are going to be times where I miss things he did, but those times are over. There will be a new boy who does cuter things. I’m big on “everything happens for a reason” and I realize how much happier I am now. Like, go back to this post and you can see it. It’s not much, I know, but being here is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, and that’s the truth.

Sometimes time and new setting is all you need to get over something, whether it be a break up or something else. I am smiling and laughing and eating and making friends and I’m just happy. I can’t express it enough. Girl time, food, looking cute, etc all helped me while I still lived in Burbank, but now that I’m gone, things are different.

I miss home, of course, but I’m not homesick. I love this. I am free. I don’t hurt anymore.

I’m sorry this answer turned into something slightly off topic, but college is really the thing that has gotten me through my break up. Not everyone has that, though, so I highly suggest doing the other things I mentioned. All of those are key in getting over a tough break up. And I’ll say it again: Half Baked Ben & Jerry’s is the best.

Have an outstanding week! -A

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