I’m starting this little thing I am going to call “Letter to You,” and it’s going to be so-called letters to no one in particular. There more like rants, but fancier. This one is from yesterday, but I will try to post them the day-of.
Sometimes I just don’t get boys. Or relationships–or rather a lack thereof. Like, if you like me, and we spend all this time together, then why don’t we just date? We pretty much already are. Why don’t we just label it? I mean, I meant it when I said I didn’t want a relationship, but that was ten weeks ago, at least. I didn’t think we would spend this much time together, but because we have, I’m getting attached. It’s only natural; I’m just a relationship person.I’m starting to get impatient, but since I still like him, I don’t want to let go. I don’t want this all to be for nothing. However, I still don’t know where he stands on all this. For all I know, we could be “just friends” in his eyes–if this is what he does with all of his “just friends.” I mean, I hope it’s not, because then I am here stupidly getting attached to a boy who doesn’t want anything more. A boy who I am, once again, letting lead me on. I promised myself it’s be different this time, that I wouldn’t let myself get attached if it wasn’t real…not that last time it wasn’t. This time, I just want things to be different. I don’t want to get invested unless it’s going to last–or at least, not have an expiration date that I stupidly choose to ignore or extend. I just don’t want to be stupid again.
It’s mostly just my thoughts all running together and me trying to write them out to make them make sense. My mind is getting pretty jumbled lately. Thanks, finals. Anyway, I love y’all more than words ❤