Remind Me

This weekend was a tough one. Everything I was doing was back to back to back, and I found it hard to find time to do much else than what was on my agenda. Not only did I not have much “me” time, I also did not have much “eat” time. That really affected the way my weekend went.

Of course, I had a great time hanging out with my friends and going to the biggest soccer game of the year, but doing those things allowed for me to unknowingly compromise on my eating habits.

On Friday, it was not until after midnight that I realized that I had barely eaten anything all day. I was having fun with my friends at a party and rocking out to Sam Hunt. It was not until I stepped off of the coffee table that my knees almost gave out on me. I mean, that happens sometimes anyway, but in this case, I could tell it was because I was lacking the nutrients my body needed. All my energy faded away, I was lightheaded, I was tripping over my own feet, and my body would not move as quickly as I wanted it to. I needed food–pronto.

Saturday was no different. I was slightly more aware of it, but I was so excited about the soccer game, that the rest of the day just slipped by. When my friends and I were trying to get into the game, the crowd of people trampled and pushed us around. Since I am claustrophobic and do not do well in crowds like that, I had a panic attack. I could not breathe, I was crying uncontrollably. Luckily, once I got through the gates, I found a spot away from people, and found some air. My friends comforted me. I said I was okay and we found seats. My heart was still beating pretty quickly and I could not yell any of the cheers because my voice was shaking and weak. All my energy and excitement was gone. My knees were unsteady and my back ached. This is when it dawned on me that part of why I was so shaken up by this was because I had not eaten much throughout the day.

I ended up leaving the game three-quarters of the way through, and indulging in a sandwich and some pumpkin bread while watching Law and Order: SVU. It reminded me that I have to take better care of myself. I have to be aware of everything I am doing.

On Sunday, I made sure I was up and aware and eating everything I needed to. Coffee and chocolate Cheerios for late breakfast, a sandwich for a late lunch, carrots and another sandwich for dinner. I have to remember to eat three meals. I have to remember that that okay. Hell, it is even okay to eat more than that.

I even went to SloDoCo that night to meet up with a friend. She went to Cal Poly and was in AOII with me last year, but she transferred to Nebraska this year. I missed her a lot, and I had not gotten a donut in a while. It was the perfect late night date. Not only that, but I also bought another donut to have for breakfast the next morning!

That is my recovery win: an apple fritter for Monday morning. Let me just say, it was a really good apple fritter. Totally hit the spot!

Taking care of myself is a priority. If I fail at this, I do not get to go to Seattle over the summer, I do not get to study abroad in Scotland next fall, I do not get to do all the things I want to this year.

Next step in taking care of me: a nap! Boy, do I need one of those right now. Funny thing is, I am about to start my first class of the day, and I cannot go home until six. Sounds like I will be getting coffee pretty soon!

Here is to starting the week off right.

-Ash

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